Be Hungry, But Stay Realistic? Navigating Career Uncertainty as a New Graduate

By Heartscape Intern, Tan Hong Ting

If you have been following recent discussions about graduates and the workforce, you may have noticed a recurring theme.

Young adults are being encouraged to be ambitious, proactive, and hungry for opportunities. At the same time, they are also being reminded to manage their expectations, be realistic about the job market, and understand the challenges employers face.

Alongside these conversations are discussions about whether employees should speak up more at work, as well as stories from workers who choose to remain silent out of concern for how their views may be received.

Taken individually, none of these messages are necessarily wrong. Yet for many graduates entering the workforce, trying to make sense of all of them at once can feel overwhelming.

The challenge is not simply finding a job. It is figuring out how to navigate a landscape filled with competing expectations and no clear roadmap.

When Advice Feels Contradictory

Many graduates may find themselves caught between seemingly opposing messages:

• Be ambitious, but don't ask for too much.

• Know your worth, but stay realistic.

• Speak up and take initiative, but be careful not to overstep.

• Stand out from the crowd, but fit into the company culture.

Taken individually, none of these pieces of advice are necessarily wrong. In fact, many contain valuable insights. The challenge arises when people try to follow all of them at once.

Most of us prefer clear rules. We want to know what is expected of us and what actions are likely to lead to success. However, career advice is rarely that straightforward. There is no universal formula for how much confidence is "enough", how much ambition is "appropriate", or when speaking up is seen as initiative rather than disruption. What works in one workplace may not work in another.

As a result, graduates may find themselves constantly wondering whether they are doing too much, too little, or something in between. Questions such as the following can become surprisingly difficult to answer:

• Am I aiming too high?

• Am I settling for too little?

• Should I speak up?

• Should I stay quiet?

This uncertainty can be stressful. When we do not know what the "right" choice is, our minds often try to fill in the blanks (Carleton, 2016). We compare ourselves to others, replay decisions in our heads, and search for reassurance that we are on the right track. Unlike a test question with a clear answer, many career decisions do not come with immediate feedback. Sometimes, we only understand the consequences of a decision months or even years later.

The uncertainty created by competing expectations can therefore turn even ordinary decisions into significant sources of stress. Rather than feeling confident in our choices, we may become preoccupied with avoiding mistakes, making the future feel even more difficult to navigate.

Holding Opposing Ideas at the Same Time

Part of this stress may come from cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance occurs when we hold beliefs, values, or expectations that seem difficult to reconcile (Festinger, 1957).

For example, a graduate may believe:

"I should be confident in my abilities."

while simultaneously thinking:

"I should lower my expectations because the market is difficult."

Neither belief is inherently wrong. When two ideas seem to point us in different directions, we often experience a sense of psychological tension. We naturally want our beliefs, decisions, and actions to fit together into a coherent story. When they do not, the inconsistency can create discomfort and uncertainty.

However, another way of approaching these tensions comes from the concept of dialectical thinking. Dialectical thinking recognises that two seemingly opposing ideas can both contain truth at the same time. Rather than forcing ourselves to choose one side and reject the other, we learn to hold both perspectives simultaneously (Cheng, 2009).

For example, 

• It is possible to be ambitious while remaining realistic about current market conditions. 

• It is possible to advocate for ourselves while remaining open to feedback. 

• It is possible to take initiative while acknowledging that mistakes are a natural part of learning.

Viewed through this lens, the goal is not necessarily to eliminate the tension between competing ideas. Instead, it may be to develop the flexibility to navigate both. Real-life decisions often involve balancing multiple truths rather than discovering a single correct answer.

In many ways, adulthood involves learning how to tolerate and work with these tensions rather than trying to resolve them completely.

When Uncertainty Turns Into Self-Doubt

Over time, external uncertainty can become internal uncertainty.

When there is no clear answer about what we should do, our brains naturally try to reduce that uncertainty. We look for clues in the behaviour of other people, seek reassurance from friends and mentors, and search for signs that we are making the "right" choice (Festinger, 1954). While this can be helpful, it can also create a subtle shift in how we think about ourselves.

Instead of asking:

"What do I want?"

People may start asking:

"What is the correct thing to do?"

The focus shifts from personal values and goals to trying to predict what others expect.

As uncertainty continues, it becomes harder to trust our own judgement. Every decision can start to feel like a test with a hidden correct answer. If we do not know what that answer is, we may assume that the problem lies with us rather than with the ambiguity of the situation itself.

This can lead to frequent comparison with peers, second-guessing decisions, and feeling as though everyone else has figured something out that we have not. The more we compare ourselves to others for guidance, the less confidence we may have in our own ability to make decisions. Over time, uncertainty about a situation can gradually become uncertainty about ourselves.

Social media can further reinforce this perception. Seeing announcements of promotions, job offers, or career milestones can make it appear as though everyone else is moving forward with certainty (Vogel et al., 2014).

What we often do not see are the doubts, worries, and uncertainties happening behind the scenes.

Many people are navigating uncertainty. They are simply doing so quietly.

Moving Forward Without Having All the Answers

Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of entering the workforce is realizing that certainty is often unavailable. There may never be a perfect salary, a perfect company, a perfect career path, or a perfect moment to take the next step.

Rather than searching for a single "correct" answer, we may benefit from learning to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously. Real-life decisions often involve balancing competing priorities rather than choosing between clear right and wrong answers (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).

Confidence is often misunderstood as knowing exactly what will happen next. In reality, confidence may be less about certainty and more about trusting ourselves to navigate uncertainty, adapt to challenges, and learn from whatever outcomes arise.

A Reminder to Be Kind to Yourself

One of the hidden difficulties of uncertainty is that we often evaluate ourselves based on outcomes rather than the information we had at the time.

When a decision leads to a disappointing outcome, it can be tempting to think, 

"I should have known better" or

"I made the wrong choice." 

Yet most career decisions are made without complete information. We make the best decisions we can using the knowledge, resources, and experiences available to us at that moment.

Sometimes those decisions work out as hoped. Sometimes they do not. Neither outcome necessarily reflects our worth or competence as a person.

Self-compassion involves responding to ourselves with the same understanding we might offer a friend facing a similar situation (Neff, 2003). Rather than criticizing ourselves for not predicting the future perfectly, it encourages us to recognize that uncertainty, mistakes, and even regret are part of the human experience.

As conversations about graduates, careers, and workplace expectations continue, it may be worth remembering that uncertainty is not always a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes, it is simply a sign that we are navigating something new.

While there may not be a clear roadmap ahead, we can continue moving forward one decision at a time—holding space for both confidence and doubt, ambition and realism, and offering ourselves grace when the path unfolds differently than we expected.

References

Carleton, R. N. (2016). Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all? Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 41, 5–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2016.03.011

Cheng, C. (2009). Dialectical Thinking and Coping Flexibility: a multimethod approach. Journal of Personality, 77(2), 471–494. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2008.00555.x 

Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140. https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202 

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. In Stanford University Press eBooks. https://doi.org/10.1515/9781503620766 

Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001

Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032 

Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222. https://doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000047