Your Year, Your Pace: Letting Go of 'New Me' Culture
- Heartscape Psychology
- Jan 6
- 4 min read
By Heartscape Psychology Intern, Ong Yi Xue

Ever heard of the saying “New Year, New Me” at the start of every new year from yourself or others? We often find ourselves wanting to become a different person because it is a new year, and we are expected to be better than before. Setting our New Year resolutions is easy, but it can be difficult to commit to them when our commitments pile up as time passes by. Before we know it, we are still our old selves and we may end up blaming ourselves for not doing better. The same cycle then repeats in the next year, for as long as we are hung up on this phrase, “New Year, New Me”.
But, what if it is okay to continue being the same selves? What if it is okay to just be a better self rather than a completely new self? What if… it is okay to just be at our own pace of life?
The “New Year, New Me” phenomenon refers to the universal cultural practice of using the start of a new year as a symbolic chance to improve and transform ourselves (Bell, 2019).
Significant Aspects of The Phenomenon (Mental Health UK, 2024)
High optimism: The arrival of the new year often evokes great positivity in us, where we develop a strong belief that we have the power to change ourselves and our future, particularly what’s coming for the new year.
Symbolic fresh start: The new year symbolises a clean slate, where we aim to leave behind our past mistakes and unwanted memories to focus on new opportunities and experiences.
Goal setting: The new year motivates us to set resolutions to achieve, like better finances, pursuing passions, quitting habits, and changing our appearance.
Societal influence: The new year is the time when we see an influx of peer influence and media collateral focusing on having new year resolutions, changing selves, or becoming better than before – making it feel obligatory to commit to change.

Don’t get me wrong, the above aspects are great traits that bring forth a positive mindset in us, knowing that things can get better. However, just like the Yin & Yang, a balance of expectations is important as extreme expectations to change ourselves could elicit negative effects instead.
Negative Effects of The Phenomenon
Unrealistic expectations: Expecting to be a “New Me” could result in us setting vague or overly ambitious goals that are hard to achieve. This can lead to failures, frustrations, or self-blame for not doing better (Grubiak et al., 2022).
Increased anxiety and stress: The pressure to conform to becoming a new self could evoke feelings of stress to achieve New Year resolutions, inadequacy and shame towards our current selves, and anxiety from the fear of failure (Jiang & Ngien, 2020).
Decreased self-esteem: Feelings of inadequacy and reduced self-worth may happen when we compare ourselves to others who may be meeting their goals or becoming better than before, especially on social media. Self-criticism could then happen when we fail to meet our expectations (Jiang & Ngien, 2020).
Increased risk of burnout: Having to cope with our existing commitments and pressure to meet our idealistic goals at a time-limited pace could lead to physical and mental exhaustion, as we leave no time for rest, being stagnant, or slow progress.
Perfectionism: Expecting to be a “New Me” could result in the all-or-nothing mindset, where we impose the obligation to flawlessly meet all resolutions.
Managing The Phenomenon
Embrace self-compassion: Acknowledging that personal growth is a journey. There is no definite time to “change”, as it is in our own control and pace to determine our change. Treat ourselves with kindness and love, as we embrace who we are and work towards growth rather than a complete transformation (Maurer et al., 2023).
Prioritize our well-being: Doing what is beneficial and healing for our well-being as we welcome the new year, even if that means continuing with whatever we have been doing the past year.
Set realistic expectations: Starting with manageable, small changes that fit our current capabilities and resources, as achievable goals lead to consistent fulfilment and motivation (Oscarsson et al., 2020).
Limit social comparisons: Recognizing that we are all fighting our own battles and progress is different for everyone. Unrealistic ideals or social pressure do not define us as individuals, and they should not be the main motivating factor for change (Jiang & Ngien, 2020).
Having a support system: It is often helpful to build a support system that supports our small wins, recognizes our growth, and embraces us as who we are without judgment (Oscarsson et al., 2020).
Seeking professional support: If it is challenging or overwhelming for us to cope with our self-expectations, it is okay to seek professional support to process our experiences and guide us through the turmoil.
While the “New Year, New Me” mindset could be inspiring and motivational to seek change, it is essential to approach it with care and self-awareness so that we are not easily succumbed by unrealistic expectations and societal pressure. Change comes in many forms.
It is also okay if you wish to stick to your usual self as you approach the new year, because we grow at a different pace and making self-compassionate change could happen anytime in the year.
Remember that you are loved and enough just as who you are. You are in charge of your life. Your Year, Your Pace. 🌱

References
Bell, P. (2019, January). “Why it’s high time we ditched the concept of new year, new you”. Stylist. https://www.stylist.co.uk/health/mental-health/loneliness-christmas-anxiety-what-happens-when-you-call-samaritans/850588
Grubiak, K. P., Isoni, A., Sugden, R., Wang, M., & Zheng, J. (2022). Taking the New Year’s resolution test seriously: Eliciting individuals’ judgements about self-control and spontaneity. Behavioural Public Policy, 8(1), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.1017/bpp.2021.41
Jiang, S., & Ngien, A. (2020). The effects of Instagram use, social comparison, and self-esteem on social anxiety: A survey study in Singapore. Social Media + Society, 6(2). https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305120912488
Maurer, M. M., Maurer, J., Hoff, E., & Daukantaitė, D. (2023). What is the process of personal growth? Introducing the personal growth process model. New Ideas in Psychology, 70, Article 101024. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.newideapsych.2023.101024
Mental Health UK. (2024, January 2). New year, new me? Why New Year’s resolutions can be unhelpful, and how to set healthy goals. https://mentalhealth-uk.org/blog/new-year-new-me-why-new-years-resolutions-can-be-unhelpful-and-how-to-set-healthy-goals/
Oscarsson, M., Carlbring, P., Andersson, G., & Rozental, A. (2020). A large-scale experiment on New Year’s resolutions: Approach-oriented goals are more successful than avoidance-oriented goals. PLOS One, 15(12), Article e0234097. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0234097
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